Don’t get me wrong this isn’t a good guy, bad guy breakdown, or one of those bad boys vs nice guys pieces, because that kind of one-dimensional personality profiling is dangerous, at I least I think so.
Anyway lets meet our three characters first up is Ms Jane Daydream followed by Mr John Nice and lastly Mr James Interesting. Now our Jane has been seeing both men and after a millisecond of contemplation has decided on Mr interesting, for the purpose of this lets say you’re Jane daydream. So Jane why Mr interesting instead of Mr nice?
John is very nice, capable, straightforward and he likes you a lot and although he’s busy he always makes time to write everyday, that’s right, write not text, he writes long emails because there’s so much he wants to say to you. He is completely invested in who you are, what makes you tick and what doesn’t. He thinks your quirks are adorable, he worries that you’re too clumsy, try not to get hurt is something he’s always telling you..but then you had to go and bump into-
James who is undoubtedly interesting, mysterious and elusive, often revealing strange things about himself that intrigue you. When he can find the energy he asks you about yourself and, sometimes even responds to what you’ve written. But what does that matter because he’s a precious soul that needs shielding, a melancholic spirit that needs protecting, a man who has weird quirks, is inexplicably self-deprecating with nervous hands, whose often distant and cold…yes truly he’s a mystery wrapped in an enigma (can you hear my eye roll)
But Jane don’t you think you’re too quick to dismiss John nice because you’ve assumed that he probably doesn’t own some never heard off indie album, or that he can’t possibly have a strange niche obsession. Plus there are no bodily ticks or strange quirks to speak off. So he must be a one-dimensional character, he’s Mr nice so his wholesome outer appearance must be a complete reflection of who he is, right?
And if we continue along this thought process then James interesting must also be the same, he really must be the dark, broody and otherworldly human being, he can’t possibly eat the same things us mere mortals consume, can’t possibly have the same thoughts as the rest of us or breathe the same air…but you’re wrong about both of them. Mr interesting isn’t the leading man in your teenage wet dream, he’s a human being who you’ve romanticized, so maybe it’s time to grow up and stop living in a daydream Jane. Daydreams are nice, but they’re not real.
I think that every now and then we all become like Jane Daydream, because we read too many of that kind of book, watch too many of those kind of films and in the end we loose sight of real people. And when you invest in the stereotype and not the person, eventually everyone gets hurt, everyone.